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Martin's Story - Moving into Independent Accommodation
Martin did not move out of his Family home until he reached his late thirities!.
Any of us, either Parent or Family members, understand only too well the tensions, trials and tribulations of this scenario! This is why, when Martin announced to his "circle of support" in mid-December 2007 that he wanted to live on his own, everyone believed this was fantastic. None of us, including his Mother and Father, underestimated the high challenge which this brave young man faced!
With his support staff, Martin began the house-hunt and even before Christmas had found a suitable home in Crossmolina. All of his support staff were enthusiastic because Crossmolina is a Community which is rich in "social capital". This meant, for Martin, that he would have many natural supports in this Community that may not be as strong in a bigger town or city.
It was all planning from this on for Martin and his "circle of support". This planning is essential to making sure this is a success for Martin.
On Wednesday night 19th March, 2008, Martin spent his first night alone in his new home. He is very proud of his achievement, and there is still a steep hill to climb, however as Martin Luther King said "you don't have to see the whole staircase - just take the first step" Like ourselves as Staff, Martin's Parents and Siblings held their breath as we all signed on his "risk management" plan. They are very brave in their "letting go".
What Martin and his Parents have to say however is the best measure of the success of this decision making process and their feedback will guide us through the future challenges we encounter.
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In a recent discussion, on being asked how he feels about the present living arrangement, Martin said "Well, I think it is fairly good now at the moment". On being asked what is different he stated, "I get myself up in the morning without help. I used to stay in bed until 12.00 o'clock and I wouldn't get out! I did not want to go to Beehive and would go into town and be hanging around. Now I want to go places, I have things to do, tidy up, clean the place, use the washing machine by myself, make sure I lock the door at night, close the windows and knock off the switches". When asked what else he had now responsibility for Martin said "I plan what I am going to eat". Martin was asked what was happening before this with all these things and he said "My Mother was doing it for me!". I am still having problems with budgeting, I sometimes spend too much and have less money!". Martin said, however with the help of John his support Staff, he is now saving for an IPod; a computer and a trip on the Ferry to the U.K. He admitted this helps him to save and it is worth giving up certain other activities to achieve these goals.
Martin also said it was a bit "scary" now and then and he says to himself sometimes "I feel I was better off if I waited at home", however when asked what does he need to say to himself that wouldl be more helpful he said "you say to yourself, you are getting a good opportunity here with the independent living and it is better now at this stage". We agreed there is no going back as Martin has really worked so hard at moving on.
When asked about his dreams for the future, Martin said ".... I'll get to meet somebody and get into a relationship. You need to be more understanding about a relationship with somebody else".
Martin knows there is a "staircase" he must climb, it is steep and long and there will be struggles, loneliness, and challenges. If at any time, we his support staff get complacent about things, Martin will remind us as he has always done! He said he will know to ask for help from Terry, John and Maureen.
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